So again i decided to search through the headlines to see if anything interesting has been happening in the world since i last checked...and apparently there has:

SNAKES ON A PLANE
Vietnam has seized more than a ton of ratsnakes found aboard a Vietnam Airlines flight from Bangkok, the second time in about a month such snakes were found in air cargo to Vietnam, state media said on Friday. The snakes -- scientific name Ptyas Mucosus and a protected species -- were found in more than 60 boxes that arrived in Hanoi's Noi Bai airport on Thursday, the Vietnam News Agency quoted officials as saying. And apparently last month, the airport authorities also seized 1,550 pounds of snakes aboard a Thai Airways flight to Hanoi. Where the hell is Samuel L. Jackson when you need him?

SCANDAL IN TEXAS MAY COST MAYOR HER JOB
This story involves 3 things: A Faked death, an attempt to hide evidence from the police and a cover up story...but heres the kicker. Mayor Grace Saenz-Lopez was indicted Friday on two felony counts of tampering with physical evidence related to a dog her neighbors say she took from them. Apparently the story goes that her neighbors gave her the dog before they went away on vacation for the summer and to watch and look after the puppy (puddles is his name...horrible name for a dog). A day after they left she called to say the dog was dead. 3 months later the dog was again seen at a Dog Grooming Center by a relative of the neighbors who said that the mayor's dog (Panchito, whom i am assuming is Puddles with a moustache) beared a resemlance to the deceased Puddles. Puddle's family sued the Mayor and filed a criminal complaint but a few days later the Mayor reported the dog missing. Oh but the story keeps going...
They mayor apparently has a twin sister that lives about 10 miles away from her. Anyway TV reporters tracked down the dog to the sister's house who upon questioning said that, "a mysterious woman had found the dog and dropped it off at the house."
The mayor's reasoning for taking the dog?: (in the words of her lawyer)
"The taking of the dog was to save it from certain death," Canales said. "It was going to die. They had left the dog with her to take care of it. She took it to the doctor. She decided if she gave it back it would die."

CHILEAN MAN WAKES UP AT OWN WAKE
Another true story...
An 81-year old man in the small Chilean village of Angol shocked his grieving relatives by waking up in his coffin at his own wake, local media said on Sunday. Apparently the mans family found his body cold and limp and immediately assumed his time had come. So the first placed they called, a funeral home. The man was dressed in his finest suit set up cozily in a coffin for the wake. Friends and family came from all over to pay their last respects. As his nephew approached the coffin the man awoke scaring most of the funeral home half-to-death (pun possibly intended) and asking only for a glass of water.

LOHAN FINALLY GETS HERS
Lindsay Lohan is about to see dead people. As a part of her court sentance for previous DUI and drunken driving and cocaine charges has to work 2, 4 hour days in a Morgue experiencing the real life consequences of drinking and driving. Not 2 days a week for a number of weeks...just 2. She has also spent 2 WHOLE months in rehab (which hasn't seemed to work), some community service...none of which anyone (including Lohan) is even aware happened and spent a WHOPPING 84 mins in jail.

AUSTRALIANS DO IT BETTER...NO MATTER WHAT ALTITUDE
Two in three Australian travelers are either members of the notorious Mile High Club or would like to be a member, a survey showed on Monday. When asked if they would consider a mid-air sexual encounter, almost half of 1,110 people surveyed wanted an adventure, while 12 percent already had mile-high membership wings. Paul Fisher, manager of the Global Marketing department at totaltravel.com, helped take the survey finding that, "People are obviously looking for more stimulating entertainment than a movie or a CD when traveling by plane."


The world is getting dumber as days go by but there is hope:
Turkey has banned YouTube.com for the second time
Scientists have successfully cloned a human embryo
The Nashville Airport now offers live music to guests awaiting departure
A stolen boomerang finally comes back after being stolen from a museum by an american tourist.
Researchers found that of the children polled in the UK, all said they are terrified of clowns...bad day for clowns everywhere
Hungarians are working on a computer that can analyze and process dog barks to give humans a better understanding of their emotions
A Californian study found that the more a bottle of wine costs, the more people enjoy it.
A german man apparently threw himself out his apartment window along with his christmas tree in a last minute attempt to get rid of his holiday decorations
and finally...
A study found genetic evidence linking Christopher Columbus to the outbreak of siphilis, saying he brought it back FROM the New World TO Europe. This may possibly take away his holiday and as a result taking away a day off from school.